It has been a little over two weeks that I have been with the Father Ray Foundation, although it feels more like forever and not very long at all. After a whirlwind of emotions and desperation I believe with ease I can finally say that I'm getting into the Groove of things. I of course know that this was not my works alone but the works of the Lord and the prayers of others I surely felt. The warm messages from my friends and family back at home has truly been a gift. A special thanks to Jen Meynardie and my YoungLife Family for their constant genuine support and words of comfort from the truth.
This morning, I feel less anxious, more confident but more anxious to see what the Lord has in store and confident in his doings. We had a lovely conversation last night that put me right to sleep comfortably for the first time. I'm adjusting and finding my place here :) This morning I woke up to meditate on the word, I read about the parable of the Sower over a cup of herbal tea, Norah Jones and some indian incense burning in the background. I found myself resonating with the Thorns in our soil. Thorns are anything that distract us from God; the worries of this world. Surely I knew that I did not want to trap myself amongst these thorns and knew who I needed to surrender my fears, worries, emotions and struggles to :) The spark has been lighten...
Lately I have been feeling ill or as I say "just under the weather". My body is trying to adjust and all these things are normal but it has drained a lot of my energy and between that and the humidity and busy schedules, my days are long and exhausting. At the foundation they purify the water themselves using chemicals like much of the rest of the country does. My body was not fond of this and I found myself lagged and sick for a few days. I'm now buying all my water outside of the compound in Jugs and keeping it in my room. Already I feel so much better! My allergies are acting up and my skin irritations are coming back from the weather but this too is normal and thankfully can be worked through. Yesterday we took the children to the aquarium and they had a blast. I had a little boy who refused to walk and demanded to be carried the whole time. Every time I tried to put him down he would cry after about a minute. Once I picked him back up he was just so comforted to be back in my arms. On the bus ride back home he quietly fell back asleep on my lap. These children come from the slums and some never receive much attention so I believe that they try to soak up every pound of love they receive. We went to the ocean and gazed over the big sea. This brought a certain peace over my heart. Then I realized that I was reminded of San Diego by the smell and sounds of the ocean and stumbled on a homesick moment where I missed San Diego and all the beautiful people in it. I then realized that instead of being sad I felt grateful to live in such a beautiful place. I will never have a moment where I take my country for granted again! We bought the children popsicles and it melted all over their faces and clothes. It was a disaster! But a lovely one to say the least! We got back and were exhausted, ate lunch then I headed off to my Thai Lesson. In the evening a lovely volunteer named Dan read me a beautiful poem. He is a lovely, whimsical, older man with a spark in his eye and I'm very fond of him. He read me this...
It doesn't take much
to hold the tiny weight
of a song sparrow,
any little twig will do,
or a sturdy weed in a field.
Why do I think my fledgling ideas
have to wait for a thick branch
or a secure landing place
before I set them down?
The wisp of a fleeting dream
can rest for a while
on a small extension in my soul.
If I never let these dreams land,
they will not gain strength
for the long flight into fullness.
All it takes is a little twig
to rest a great dream on.
This poem resonated with my heart in a delightful way and I too hope it resonates with yours ;) He then handed me the book of poems that reflected nature and my heart and said "Read and Purr". So I read and I purred. All these things are lovely little gifts.
I was telling this story to my boyfriend, Mike about a precious moment I had with one of the Children and he said, write that down so I did and I'm now going to tell you about this simple little moment of beauty. Last Saturday, we were at the Children's Village playing with the children. They usually run around and play and beat each other up. You learn not to exuberate all your effort into trying to stop all these little tangents kids go on and the fights they have. Kids will be kids. One girl was dragging another little girl on the ground and she started crying. Excuse me, she whaled!!!! That was a moment I knew I needed to intervene so I quietly walked over to her, picked her up off the cement and held her over my shoulder rocking her back and fourth quietly singing to her. She cried and cried uncontrollably, collecting her breath like children do and I just continued to patiently sway her back and fourth in my arms just loving her. Shortly this girls heart began to patter slower and her breaths became longer and arms grasped me closer and she just melted and embraced. Her tears were gone and it was just her and I. Just her and I. She then fell asleep in my arms. I think we both communicated a lot to each other at that moment about how much she was loved. The most beautiful part at that moment was that this love was not coming from me. It was Christ's Love and it compelled both of us. I will always remember that little moment of Truth.
I stay very busy around here. Every Morning I either go visit one of the elders in the elderly home Mr. Lee or Auntie. We usually take Mr. Lee out for a stroll around the compound to the fish pond or store or to see the children. He loves Coke and we buy him one everyday! He looks forward to this and kicks his legs! My Lee can't say much but he is an alert fellow with a lot of Life! Auntie is about 91, she is blind and can only hear out of one ear. We sit with her, hold her hand so that she knows you are with her and lean over her and scream into one ear! Literally! She is a character! She Loves company and asks every question in the book to you! How many brothers and sisters do you have? What are they doing? Do you have a boyfriend? What does he do? Where are your parents from? Do you like Spicy Food? Sometimes, she takes some patience but she is surely a delight. If I'm not with one of the elders I usually teach in the mornings. That is always fun! I then head over to play with the children along with a few other volunteers; Rachel (Whales), Mandeep (London), Qiong (China) and a few others and we stay with the children till Lunch. We play with them then feed them then bath them which is always an adventure, dress all of them then pat them to sleep! Yes, All of them! You sit there between two children and pat them consistently until they fall asleep. Then you move over to the next child and try to get them to fall asleep. This always takes a lot of patience and time but it surely is a beautiful moment everyday. In the afternoons we do different things; Children's Drop in Center, Children's Village, etc.
All in all I'm having a wonderful time, the volunteers here are lovely and everyday I feel differently than the day before. I fall often but this is all part of the journey. When my heart starts to ache, I'm reminded everyday of his Love.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Trying to Adjust
Hello! Or as some of my volunteer friends from England/Whales would say..."Ello"
I has been a while since I've been able to update this blog and I apologize as I have not only been very busy but also dealing with some technical difficulties regarding my internet connection. But I'm slowly getting everything worked out. I moved rooms today so connection is back up in my room. Although I must note to everyone that quite frequently our internet and any other kind of reception shuts down for days at a time due to the thunder storms we get here quite often. I do my best.
Part of me has been a little anxious to write in this blog with a feeling of "Where do I even start"? Well, I'm not going to overwhelm you or myself but share with you a few tid bits here and there. Thailand is just one of those places that needs to be visited enable to get a full understanding, just like any other country really. The last few days I have just been trying to get settled in. Used to the culture, food, temperature, furious bugs, language, customs, humidity, people, routine, etc. Also, I've just been trying to work through all the culture shocks I'm experiencing and preparing my heart/ears/eyes for the next. It has been a delightful process, yet a difficult one as I found myself very upset the other day. Missing home. Missing Family/Friends and the little luxuries we take for granted such as a flushing toilet or designated shower. I found myself desperate for prayer and to talk to friends and family but could not. I found myself pleading with the Lord in tears asking for things I already knew he was doing for me such as guidance. Pattaya, Thailand is considered the "sin city" of Thailand, therefore it can be very heartbreaking to be around. You see kids and people everyday effected by the corrupt ways and living in it. You can't do much but love....
Last night was a blast! Some of the volunteers hopped into the back of a truck like we usually do and headed over to the "Children's Drop in Center for Street Kids" to have dinner with them. We ate with the children then hung out with them afterwards. Music came on and we all started dancing with each other. I was sweating bullets but didn't care as the kids were having so much fun and so was I. A man from the Fr. Ray talked to us about some of the children. There is one little boy there named; Art. He is always full of energy and love every time we visit and is surely a pleasant handful. The outreach team found Art and his brother on "Walking Street" (prostitution, escort, gogo bar scene) dancing in the corner of a bar while his mom danced up on stage. She appeared to be heavily sedated on drugs and the father ray outreach team asked her if they could care for her child since he seemed to be pretty abandoned and living as a "street child" and she quickly signed him over. He was saying that when the children first come in, they are mean and aggressive and violent and rude but after time, through loving them their spirits and character changed. This man left the conversation with "Love can change everything" and walked away. It reminded me of exactly why we are here. My volunteer coordinator tells us stories and I find myself choking on my tears of pain and frustration but he explains that there is nothing we can do to change someones past when they walk into the father ray or change what is going on amongst the streets and behind the naked eye here and all over the world but all we can do is Love and create a new life for them now.
Something I've really come to realize through the wise words of others warmth of the Lord is that Life is not about how much you accomplish, how much fun you have, what you did, what you have but it's about giving life meaning and another beautiful aspect to that is that we can help nourish and give meaning to the lives of others for a very little sacrifice; love.
I have only been here for a little over a week but already I feel as if I've been here for ages!! I've been working through so many feelings and emotions that have lost track of time. I cry, I laugh, I smile, I choke on my words, I plead with the Lord, I debate my decisions but mostly I'm growing and through the trials I'm realizing that I'm in the right place. I'm exactly where God wants me, I'm exactly where it hurts the most and therefore needed and I'm feeling exactly the way I should....sad, anxious, overjoyed, guided by the lord. It's not about me, it's about him.
Just a few tid bits: I've been working with the children a lot; feeding them, playing with them, bathing them, patting them to sleep. My Thai is coming along! I can get around in Thai on my own. I picked up the guitar yesterday and have a lovely friend here with me from London named, Sandy who is devoted to teaching me and working with me. Bless his heart. The other volunteers here are lovely, all from all over the world, different ages, different places in life but all with the same interest to help others. I learn a lot from them and we spend a lot of time together and its been a pleasure. We teach each other about our cultures and compare. We teach each other about the culture here and compare stories. We talk about everything here that is Taboo for us such as the "Lady Boys" (Transvestites) In Thailand, they think that their is a third gender and so there are many Lady Boys around here. You would never know though until they talked. Fools everyone. We talk about all the Western men here we see with ulterior motives and the cute families you see on the street with a corrupt business lurking in the back. I can tell you more about that later but sex is prevalent here and its not only shocking but heartbreaking.
Anyways, I must get going now, Its about 9pm here but 7am for you. Big day tomorrow at the Children's Village. Please keep my safety and relationship with the Lord in your prayers and praise him for all his doings.
with love
-Courtney
I has been a while since I've been able to update this blog and I apologize as I have not only been very busy but also dealing with some technical difficulties regarding my internet connection. But I'm slowly getting everything worked out. I moved rooms today so connection is back up in my room. Although I must note to everyone that quite frequently our internet and any other kind of reception shuts down for days at a time due to the thunder storms we get here quite often. I do my best.
Part of me has been a little anxious to write in this blog with a feeling of "Where do I even start"? Well, I'm not going to overwhelm you or myself but share with you a few tid bits here and there. Thailand is just one of those places that needs to be visited enable to get a full understanding, just like any other country really. The last few days I have just been trying to get settled in. Used to the culture, food, temperature, furious bugs, language, customs, humidity, people, routine, etc. Also, I've just been trying to work through all the culture shocks I'm experiencing and preparing my heart/ears/eyes for the next. It has been a delightful process, yet a difficult one as I found myself very upset the other day. Missing home. Missing Family/Friends and the little luxuries we take for granted such as a flushing toilet or designated shower. I found myself desperate for prayer and to talk to friends and family but could not. I found myself pleading with the Lord in tears asking for things I already knew he was doing for me such as guidance. Pattaya, Thailand is considered the "sin city" of Thailand, therefore it can be very heartbreaking to be around. You see kids and people everyday effected by the corrupt ways and living in it. You can't do much but love....
Last night was a blast! Some of the volunteers hopped into the back of a truck like we usually do and headed over to the "Children's Drop in Center for Street Kids" to have dinner with them. We ate with the children then hung out with them afterwards. Music came on and we all started dancing with each other. I was sweating bullets but didn't care as the kids were having so much fun and so was I. A man from the Fr. Ray talked to us about some of the children. There is one little boy there named; Art. He is always full of energy and love every time we visit and is surely a pleasant handful. The outreach team found Art and his brother on "Walking Street" (prostitution, escort, gogo bar scene) dancing in the corner of a bar while his mom danced up on stage. She appeared to be heavily sedated on drugs and the father ray outreach team asked her if they could care for her child since he seemed to be pretty abandoned and living as a "street child" and she quickly signed him over. He was saying that when the children first come in, they are mean and aggressive and violent and rude but after time, through loving them their spirits and character changed. This man left the conversation with "Love can change everything" and walked away. It reminded me of exactly why we are here. My volunteer coordinator tells us stories and I find myself choking on my tears of pain and frustration but he explains that there is nothing we can do to change someones past when they walk into the father ray or change what is going on amongst the streets and behind the naked eye here and all over the world but all we can do is Love and create a new life for them now.
Something I've really come to realize through the wise words of others warmth of the Lord is that Life is not about how much you accomplish, how much fun you have, what you did, what you have but it's about giving life meaning and another beautiful aspect to that is that we can help nourish and give meaning to the lives of others for a very little sacrifice; love.
I have only been here for a little over a week but already I feel as if I've been here for ages!! I've been working through so many feelings and emotions that have lost track of time. I cry, I laugh, I smile, I choke on my words, I plead with the Lord, I debate my decisions but mostly I'm growing and through the trials I'm realizing that I'm in the right place. I'm exactly where God wants me, I'm exactly where it hurts the most and therefore needed and I'm feeling exactly the way I should....sad, anxious, overjoyed, guided by the lord. It's not about me, it's about him.
Just a few tid bits: I've been working with the children a lot; feeding them, playing with them, bathing them, patting them to sleep. My Thai is coming along! I can get around in Thai on my own. I picked up the guitar yesterday and have a lovely friend here with me from London named, Sandy who is devoted to teaching me and working with me. Bless his heart. The other volunteers here are lovely, all from all over the world, different ages, different places in life but all with the same interest to help others. I learn a lot from them and we spend a lot of time together and its been a pleasure. We teach each other about our cultures and compare. We teach each other about the culture here and compare stories. We talk about everything here that is Taboo for us such as the "Lady Boys" (Transvestites) In Thailand, they think that their is a third gender and so there are many Lady Boys around here. You would never know though until they talked. Fools everyone. We talk about all the Western men here we see with ulterior motives and the cute families you see on the street with a corrupt business lurking in the back. I can tell you more about that later but sex is prevalent here and its not only shocking but heartbreaking.
Anyways, I must get going now, Its about 9pm here but 7am for you. Big day tomorrow at the Children's Village. Please keep my safety and relationship with the Lord in your prayers and praise him for all his doings.
with love
-Courtney
Thursday, October 15, 2009
A little bit of time to get settled in
Good Morning!
Well most of you are sleeping actually! Might I first begin by saying Praise the Lord I have internet! This is a new accommodation for the volunteers. I took my chances by lugging my laptop halfway across the world on a 20 hr plane ride and it was well worth it to have communication with my fellow friends and family. This is truly a blessing! Right now It is 10:30 Friday morning here. Just got done have breakfast with the other volunteers and now everyone is laying low inside due to the heavy rain storm outside. The thunder is roaring and ground is flooding and it's incredibly humid. There seems to be an animal outside making noise because of the rain but I haven't quite figured out what kind of animal this is yet! ha ha.
Yesterday I spent the day getting to know some of the other volunteers who have arrived. They are from all over the world. We are still expecting about 12 more people and classes have not begun yet so the compound is a little quiet until then. This allows for a lot of down time, which I am thankful for! I see this as an opportunity to get to know my area, the people, and the culture! Plus, more time to read and spend with the lord!!!!
Yesterday Morning, I visited the Day Care center and the children are incredibly loving! As I was walking toward the building and a little boy had seemed to escape and knew exactly what he was doing ;) I looked at him and said "Where are you going Mr"? This 2 year old boy just darted over to me and wrapped his arms around my legs. These kids have no idea what you are saying to them half the time but they are just so happy to be loved and want to love you back! Children are so innocent it brings a special place to my heart! This Day Care center is a program only for families of low income who work 6-7 days a week. We charge only 5 baht a day which is extremely cheap but this encourages the family to be productive and work, verses if we offered this program for free. every morning the children get dropped off by their parents on their mopeds (that is all people drive here) and we collect their 5 baht. only 2 of the baht goes towards them (i.e food, bathing, art supplies) We bath them everyday as many of them do not get the attention they need at home. The other 3 baht goes towards a "Child Trust Fund" which puts money aside for their education. Many children do not finish or end up going to school because the families cannot afford to do so or just do not want to pay. This is why my heart went for this foundation and all the different programs it offers. Instead of just giving handouts to people. We create a system to save them then get them back on their feet mostly using the power of education. Education is on my heart. I believe in educating and that is why I'm particularly with the Father Ray Foundation. They not only save, but they educate and build lives.
I then met another volunteer from Denmark and we went over to the elderly center. He had come with his girlfriend he met while backpacking through China, Chiow. Sweet girl. Their story was interesting as they lived away from each other for about 2 years only using skype and their love was genuine. Both with Thick accents they still understood one another, teaching each other. A beautiful sight. I met an elder who loved affection. When you would speak to him or touch him his face would just light up with joy. Complete Joy. He was from China and did not speak Thai or English so he was thankful for Chiow whom he could understand. He cries when she leaves. One of the other volunteers told me that he got kicked out of China, and misses his family very much. I have not heard the entire story yet as he gets very upset when he talks about it and weeps. But I heard it is a devastating one. But without the Father Ray Foundation, this man would have no place to live and be on the streets. He knows this and says he is grateful everyday! This, he can comprehend.
Later that evening, another volunteer Sandy and I went into town to pick up a few items for our stay. When you walk out of the compound it is already a completely different place. The streets are crowded, busy and dirty. There are no sidewalks and the cars and mopeds whip past you only inches away not even seeming to care if you are there or not or cautious. The walk to the market frightened me because of this. Every other minute, I felt like my life was spared! I came back to my room and crashed early, missing dinner and a tea party to catch up on my jet lag. I hadn't technically slept since Monday night, It was Thursday yesterday here so you can only imagine!
Woke up early this morning as my body's time is still off (14 hr difference) and missed my friends and family. Made a quick but pleasant call on skype to my mother and Mike then went out onto the balcony and read and spoke to God. Truly one of the most meditating times of the day! God always reminds me of how important this is when I spend time with him! Sometimes we get so caught up in the excitement and schedules of our lives that we forget how important it is to energize our spirits with the Lords word.
This morning at breakfast I had many interesting conversations with the volunteers. We compare cultures and systems in our country and debate different areas of life. My favorite part is stopping and listening to all the side conversations. People from all over the world; London, Whales, Ireland, France, Australia, Denmark, China, etc come and sit together and genuinely speak and care for one another in their thick accents. We can all communicate with each other. It is a beautiful sound.
I've written a lot but I have some time right now while I'm getting settled in so I feel as if I need to take advantage of my free time now as I will not have much of this soon and my communication will decrease. I thank you all for caring and loving! Do what the children at the Day Care center and most of Thailand do....love unconditionally and let yourself be loved back regardless of color or language. Because in the big picture. None of this matters. And one day, it wont matter at all ;)
Well most of you are sleeping actually! Might I first begin by saying Praise the Lord I have internet! This is a new accommodation for the volunteers. I took my chances by lugging my laptop halfway across the world on a 20 hr plane ride and it was well worth it to have communication with my fellow friends and family. This is truly a blessing! Right now It is 10:30 Friday morning here. Just got done have breakfast with the other volunteers and now everyone is laying low inside due to the heavy rain storm outside. The thunder is roaring and ground is flooding and it's incredibly humid. There seems to be an animal outside making noise because of the rain but I haven't quite figured out what kind of animal this is yet! ha ha.
Yesterday I spent the day getting to know some of the other volunteers who have arrived. They are from all over the world. We are still expecting about 12 more people and classes have not begun yet so the compound is a little quiet until then. This allows for a lot of down time, which I am thankful for! I see this as an opportunity to get to know my area, the people, and the culture! Plus, more time to read and spend with the lord!!!!
Yesterday Morning, I visited the Day Care center and the children are incredibly loving! As I was walking toward the building and a little boy had seemed to escape and knew exactly what he was doing ;) I looked at him and said "Where are you going Mr"? This 2 year old boy just darted over to me and wrapped his arms around my legs. These kids have no idea what you are saying to them half the time but they are just so happy to be loved and want to love you back! Children are so innocent it brings a special place to my heart! This Day Care center is a program only for families of low income who work 6-7 days a week. We charge only 5 baht a day which is extremely cheap but this encourages the family to be productive and work, verses if we offered this program for free. every morning the children get dropped off by their parents on their mopeds (that is all people drive here) and we collect their 5 baht. only 2 of the baht goes towards them (i.e food, bathing, art supplies) We bath them everyday as many of them do not get the attention they need at home. The other 3 baht goes towards a "Child Trust Fund" which puts money aside for their education. Many children do not finish or end up going to school because the families cannot afford to do so or just do not want to pay. This is why my heart went for this foundation and all the different programs it offers. Instead of just giving handouts to people. We create a system to save them then get them back on their feet mostly using the power of education. Education is on my heart. I believe in educating and that is why I'm particularly with the Father Ray Foundation. They not only save, but they educate and build lives.
I then met another volunteer from Denmark and we went over to the elderly center. He had come with his girlfriend he met while backpacking through China, Chiow. Sweet girl. Their story was interesting as they lived away from each other for about 2 years only using skype and their love was genuine. Both with Thick accents they still understood one another, teaching each other. A beautiful sight. I met an elder who loved affection. When you would speak to him or touch him his face would just light up with joy. Complete Joy. He was from China and did not speak Thai or English so he was thankful for Chiow whom he could understand. He cries when she leaves. One of the other volunteers told me that he got kicked out of China, and misses his family very much. I have not heard the entire story yet as he gets very upset when he talks about it and weeps. But I heard it is a devastating one. But without the Father Ray Foundation, this man would have no place to live and be on the streets. He knows this and says he is grateful everyday! This, he can comprehend.
Later that evening, another volunteer Sandy and I went into town to pick up a few items for our stay. When you walk out of the compound it is already a completely different place. The streets are crowded, busy and dirty. There are no sidewalks and the cars and mopeds whip past you only inches away not even seeming to care if you are there or not or cautious. The walk to the market frightened me because of this. Every other minute, I felt like my life was spared! I came back to my room and crashed early, missing dinner and a tea party to catch up on my jet lag. I hadn't technically slept since Monday night, It was Thursday yesterday here so you can only imagine!
Woke up early this morning as my body's time is still off (14 hr difference) and missed my friends and family. Made a quick but pleasant call on skype to my mother and Mike then went out onto the balcony and read and spoke to God. Truly one of the most meditating times of the day! God always reminds me of how important this is when I spend time with him! Sometimes we get so caught up in the excitement and schedules of our lives that we forget how important it is to energize our spirits with the Lords word.
This morning at breakfast I had many interesting conversations with the volunteers. We compare cultures and systems in our country and debate different areas of life. My favorite part is stopping and listening to all the side conversations. People from all over the world; London, Whales, Ireland, France, Australia, Denmark, China, etc come and sit together and genuinely speak and care for one another in their thick accents. We can all communicate with each other. It is a beautiful sound.
I've written a lot but I have some time right now while I'm getting settled in so I feel as if I need to take advantage of my free time now as I will not have much of this soon and my communication will decrease. I thank you all for caring and loving! Do what the children at the Day Care center and most of Thailand do....love unconditionally and let yourself be loved back regardless of color or language. Because in the big picture. None of this matters. And one day, it wont matter at all ;)
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I Finally Made it to Thailand! Yippee Skippy!
sa wat dee!!!! In other words....Hello! Yes, I did make it to Thailand, safe and sound! Thank you so much for all of you that kept me in your prayers and thoughts the past 2-3 days of traveling! That's right! Portland to Los Angeles to Taipei, Taiwan, Bangkok, Thailand to Pattaya :) I even traveled on a donkey! Just Kidding! I arrived at 4:30 in the morning and had to be ready for work at 7 so I didn't even bother going to sleep. I'm exhausted but needless to say, I'm thrilled and in awe of every step I take. I feel as I've already been on a whirlwind journey meeting crazy people, kind people and people who have no idea what I'm talking about! I love learning about this culture first hand. These people are so polite and welcoming!
pay attention and gain understanding.
In the LAX airport I immediately made a new friend named Alanna who just so happened to also be from San Diego, she had just graduated from USD and decided to go backpacking with a friend for 2 months. We clicked and bonded immediately! Occasionally, I have "long weekends" off (Fri/Sat-Sun) so we plan on getting in touch and backpacking together one of my long weekends. I felt very blessed to meet someone right away I felt comfortable with and liked very much! This helped ease my nerves that I was wrestling with that morning and night before at the hotel. My Tita Christy spent the night with me at a hotel in LA and dropped me off at the airport the next morning. I was so happy I got to see her before I left. Felt like forever, but it really wasn't ;) Tried to not cry but it was a bittersweet moment, as were all my other goodbyes. I felt overwhelmed by love and this alone brought tears of joy and thankfulness to my heart & eyes. Being sent off by so many people who care about me and love me is truly a blessing.
10 hours into the plane ride I had the "Oh my gosh, what am I doing"? moment! I just thought to myself "Woah, there is no turning back now! Alright God"! Lately I have been feeling distracted from the Lords voice and began to feel discouraged by this. I asked others to pray for the Holy Spirit and at that moment prayed and asked God to just speak to me. I opened the bible after a powerful realization of selfless love to Proverbs 4...
Proverbs 4
Wisdom Is Supreme
1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning,
so do not forsake my teaching.
3 When I was a boy in my father's house,
still tender, and an only child of my mother,
4 he taught me and said,
"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, a]">[a] get understanding.
8 Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will set a garland of grace on your head
and present you with a crown of splendor."
10 Listen, my son, accept what I say,
and the years of your life will be many.
11 I guide you in the way of wisdom
and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go;
guard it well, for it is your life.
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evil men.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.
16 For they cannot sleep till they do evil;
they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.
17 They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness;
they do not know what makes them stumble.
20 My son, pay attention to what I say;
listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight,
keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth;
keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level b]">[b] paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left;
keep your foot from evil.
At that moment I felt compelled and knew that the Lord was with me on this journey and would not forsake me! All my comfort came from this. His voice.
After that 14 hour flight and layover in Taipei I finally landed in Bangkok another 3 1/2 hours later. People were walking up to me and anxiously asking me if they could take pictures with me. I asked if it was because I was from America and they just nodded their heads in a mixture of surety and confusion! My mother told me this might happen, I guess I just figured that I blended in more since I died my hair back from blonde to dark. I finally get through.. immigrations and see a short, dark man with a sign with my name on it. He speaks no English but I follow him. I'm in awe of my surroundings and lightning the ride back! Nobody seemed to even noticed the raging lightning! hmmm.
We finally reach the compound in Pattaya where the manager of the hotel the volunteers now stays in shows me to me room! It's little and old but I'm still thankful. Only a few minutes ago I finally figured out how to flush the toilet! No button! Just a bucket of water! I was looking all over the place for one of those buttons last night! Well, this morning :) There are no designated showers either. Just a bathroom with a drain and a hand held shower head. You shower in the middle of the bathroom. Next to your toilet! That was interesting! I have a little tiny balcony and this compound is beautiful!I thanked the lord for my safety and wisdom that day as I had already had a few encounters and got ready to move along again.
This morning I was greeting by a lovely old man named Wayne, who has been volunteering at Father Ray for 16 years. He hugs me right away and makes me a plate for breakfast, shows me how to bow to others in greeting, thanking and respectand shows me all around the compound on his little wobble! He calls everyone brother, sister, cousin, uncle, grandma and so fourth. We head over to the Day Care center and there are the cutest children in uniforms being dropped off by their parents on mopeds and bowing with their little hands every time I look at them. He then shows me the library! Ahhhhhhhh! It's beautiful! old Thai classics and resources galore! I'm in heaven even after lugging 10 other books over here! I signed up to take a Thai beginner course at the library every Friday! I'm determined to come back fluent!
I feel as if this journey began a long time ago. God has been showing me through the love and support and reaching out of my friends and family how beautiful this world is. I've felt humbled and choked up more than I can count! I thank you all for your support! It's 9:40 Thursday morning here! We are 14 hours ahead but already I feel overwhelmed and blessed by these people, this culture, this opportunity and everyone in my life. God is Love.
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