"Teacher, I Leave Happy Now"

Ello Mate! (Learned that one from the Australian Volunteers Today)

Well, well things have been rather chaotic around here! I apologize about the delay as it has been difficult to find some space to sit down and write. Sometimes I fret about "doing this and doing that" but what's important is that I am present. Often when worry & stress consumes my thoughts I remind myself to; "Live in the Present, with Momentum and not in the past or the future". Many of the students and children have to have this mindset as well. For if they consumed themselves with their pasts or the possibilities of their futures they would never gain momentum. We teach them to live in the present by loving unconditionally and passionately in the moment. One thing that I love about waking up everyday, is that I get to go Love these children. They are my children, they are our children, they are God's Children. The Father Ray is fabulous and we love them as our own. The volunteer coordinator was telling me yesterday that many volunteer applications come in and many people are interested but only few are accepted. They have to be particular and picky with selecting their volunteers. Why is that? I ask. He replies, "Because these are our Children and we do not want anything happening to that and only want the best". This seems right! Shouldn't this be how we treat every child? Every Disabled individual? What about your neighbor or co-worker? Should they be loved and treated right too?



I have to be honest and genuine; sometimes it is hard to get out of bed! Sometimes it is hard for me to get myself to go to my next project with zest! Sometimes I'm just physically and emotionally tired and just don't want to go. A few times I felt this way and I had to call on the Lord to ask him to give me strength, give me a full servants heart and encouragement. Whenever I just frankly don't want to go and God gives me the strength and energy to keep moving something beautiful happens. Let me tell you two stories....



Last week at the "School for the Blind" we were doing a conversational session with the students. Many students are not only blind but most are disabled and severely burnt. Unfortunately, in Thailand if you have a disability or deformity you are considered "Trash" and most parent's dispose you! Whatever that looks like. You hear stories of parent's trying to burry their child alive in the ground, or they throw them into fires (which is how they usually have burns) or they just throw them in the dumpster or drop them off somewhere. The thought of someone trying to dispose of these children are infuriating and confusing all at the same time!!! They are Beautiful! Gorgeous Individuals!!! Anyways, we sit and try to get them to talk with us in English and try to make them comfortable with us. So far, all my visits have been difficult, they are afraid to talk to you, therefore you are afraid to talk to them. They are shy and closed! This visit, I decided that I was going to make the best of this opportunity. Words suffocated my heart just minutes before as I was walking towards the students and they said, "Love with a Full Heart, Live a Full Life, Life is what you make of it, Show others they are Special and Beautiful, because they are". Sooooo, I sat down and immediately threw myself out of my comfort bubble and began asking the students a million questions until I got reactions from them. I was counting up to the ten thousandths in Thai with two particular students (which was also good practice for me) and having them translate what I said back into English out loud! Every time they got the answer right I would shout "Very Good (dii mah mak)" and give them praise and reassurance through my voice and touch (not many people touch them) and as time went on I quickly saw all their faces light up and smiles get wider. When the bell rang and it was time for them to leave they didn't want to. The principal had to come over and tell it was time to go. They left with laughter. The principal then came up to us afterwards and said, "they really enjoyed you, thank you" and gave me a look I could not forgot that said a million beautiful words. The faces of the children and energy and spirits are now ingrained in my heart...and to think that I didn't even "feeeeeel" like coming today. How silly am I....Bless the Lord!

Two days ago, I decided to start working with the disabled in the pool. We help them swim, teach them how to swim and get them comfortable with the water. Some of them have never even been in water before. We want all the students to learn how to swim for exercise and in case there was an accident one day. We also do this to empower them and push away any fear they might have as well! Father Ray encourages Sports and exercise! The water was cooooold that day! I got in the water and one by one we got the students out of their wheelchairs and into the water. A few of the new students were not comfortable though. So we patiently just floated around with them on floaty boards moving alongside them or holding them in the water to make them comfortable. One girls legs were deformed and she was using the floaty the whole time. She took to me really quickly for some reason and I could see that I was gaining trust with her so I convinced her to get rid of the floaty and let me help her move across the pool chest deep. She eventually said OK and we got rid of her floaty and I took her hands and we slowly but patiently made our way across the pool. She was shaking and kept saying, "Teacher, teacher, I'm scared" with Joy I looked back at her straight into her beautiful brown eyes and with the strength of Love said "I promise, that I will never ever let you fall, let me show you". After a few more words of encouragement she made her way from one end of the pool and back and I told her how wonderful she did and said I was proud of her and handed back her floaty. She looked at me and said with pure excitement and accomplishment, "Teacher, I leave Happy Now". My heart was dewey and warm and throat was choked up! And to think that I didn't feel like getting in the cold water that day!




Amongst the many things I have learned so far, one is Life is beautiful and has so much to teach us, therefore; if you let it, give it your time, strength, energy and spirit with a willing heart you will never be dissatisfied because you already decided you were going to make that moment Full! Lean on the Lord's Love and his Strength and HE WILL GUIDE YOU THROUGH THE DAY! Let Life Show you something Beautiful....

Till we chat again,
Courtney

"A Gecko Fell On My Head Last Night"

Sawat de Kah (Hello)!



Life has been rather hectic around here but lovely. The pace is really picking up, therefore I'm really being challenged. Our schedules are lined up all day and by evening we are exhausted but that is my time to practice Thai or go to a Thai class, practice guitar, read, prepare lessons, do a devotional, research, etc. I think it is important to have many little goals and achievements that accompanies one enriching goal. I'm still in the process of trying to find a cheap guitar to buy but until then have been using the other volunteers. My goal is to be able to sing with the children and teach them english songs in the Classroom. Everyone connects through music. My Thai is coming along, although very difficult and frustrating sometimes just like any other language. I try to practice everyday and can speak conversationally now. Just finished reading a book recommended to me by a friend back home, Nicole Gallego. It is Called "The Road of Lost Innocence" by Somaly Mam. It is fabulous! Although very difficult to read as it makes you very sad but it is reality for too many so it should hurt. I think it's important to be aware. It is about a cambodian woman affected by the Khmer Rouge being tossed around in the sex slave circle. Raped, beaten, deceived and sold for what seems like a million times. Eventually she manages to get out of the Brothels and creates a new spirit for herself. She eventually goes back and begins saving other girls as young as 5 years old (some sold at the age of 3). It's also very prevalent in Thailand and impossible to ignore. I would recommend this book to everyone although I suggest reading it rather quickly as it can be heavy on the heart.

VISITING WITH "AUNTIE", ONE OF OUR ELDERS HERE. WE VISIT WITH HER A FEW TIMES EVERY WEEK IN THE MORNINGS. SHE IS A CHARACTER! BLIND AND CAN ONLY HEAR OUT OF ONE HEAR SO YOU LITERALLY HAVE TO LEAN OVER HER AND SCREAM INTO HER HEAR! SHE DOESN'T LIKE MY NAME BECAUSE SHE CAN'T PRONOUNCE IT. SHE KEPT CALLING ME "CARTOON" THIS VISIT. SHE ASKS QUESTIONS ABOUT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE! WHO ARE MY PARENTS. WHAT DO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS DO. DO THEY LIKE SPICY FOOD. WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING. WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED! THE WHOLE WORKS. SHE IS TRULY A DELIGHT AND ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF MY DAY AS I KNOW WE ARE TO HERS AS WELL.


Last Saturday was Loy Krathong and it is one of the biggest holidays in Thailand. It was so neat to spend a holiday in another country. Everyone was all dressed up and the children and disabled were out and competing in the beauty, dance & singing contests. We blessed our Krathongs and sent them off into the water to say thanks to the water goddess. Part of the Buddist belief. Very interesting actually because in my opinion there is irony. They say sorry to the Goddess of water for polluting yet the beaches are FULL of trash and the water is like a mine of trash. I can't even swim in it yet I'm so disguisted but they continue to trash their country and apologize about it on this day. I find it frustrating but it's culture for them. The Thai's have this "Out of sight, not my problem" attitude. So as long as the garbage is out of their house it is fine so they throw their garbage into the streets and ocean where they can't see it rather than just finding a garbage sometimes. Here is the update on the Father Ray website about the festival, a picture of me holding a Krathong was actually posted:

http://www.fr-ray.org/home/?menu=news&news_id=1000679&read=y

ONE OF MY OWN PICTURES. SENDING OFF THE KRATHONG INTO THE LAKE AFTER LIGHTING THE INCENSE AND CANDLES. THE FISH LIKE TO EAT THE BOTTOM.


I have been having a hard time sleeping and one of the volunteers from Australia, Natasha gave me some relaxing music and showed me some techniques to calm myself down at night. This seemed to help and right now, anything that helps is very much appreciated. Finally at 3 in the morning I was able to fall asleep BUT at 5 in the morning I was woken up by a Gecko!!! It fell on my head in the middle of the night and I reached back and felt it in my hair! I was terrified and startled and jumped out of bed and turned off the lights but he was gone! This kept me up for another hour just to wake up again at 7:30 again to begin my. I think he is the one who has been crawling into the shower with me sometimes. Perhaps there are many in my room! I don't know. I don't really like them in my room but I guess I'm just going to have to make peace with the Gecko's. I'll warm up to the other critters later. They like to surprise you and I'm not fond of surprises...like that!! Yesterday we were walking back from folding newsletters for supporters and stuffing envelopes (8,000 of them) and a snake fell right out of a tree in front of us! Scared us and especially my friend, Qiong. She was not pleased but oh well. Anyways, I also had my first day of teaching today at the Children's Village, which was lovely. I will have them every week for the next 5 months. We went over how to greet and introduce yourself and then figured out what day was today and went over months, seasons, days of the week. We then played hangman and they loved it! We used different countries around the world as an intro to us. Teaching is an amazing thing! Educating is a beautiful thing! The other teachers and I were so excited when we were done we kept talking about the kids and what we could work on next week and what we observed. They want to learn so bad! They are so excited when we come! It's fascinating watching them put sentences together and uplifting to help them, encourage them and pronounce words correctly. What is so second nature to us is so difficult to them, yet such a desire.

We also went to the "School for the Blind" Tuesday and Wednesday. On Tuesdays we sit down and do a conversational session with them which is so fun and amazing what they are capable of. On Wednesday we took the little ones to swim. We each had a blind child and went into the water with them teaching them how to swim. It was pure craziness but one of the most memorable things I have done yet! These children are so encouraging to us! They swim around bumping into each other but they always come out OK. we tried to protect them at first but then I think realized that they are not going to learn unless you let them hurt themselves a few times. Isn't that life? Instead of living in fear of this world and their next step in front of them, they are out taking risks every second of everyday and truly pursuing to live their lives to the fullest. They do everything we do, just a little differently. Watching them persist chaotically in the pool was a beautiful sight and made me realize how much we should learn from them.

Sometimes, we have to step aside and view life through a different pair of frames enable to grasp what the world truly has to offer and take nothing for granted.