Feeling the Groove

It has been a little over two weeks that I have been with the Father Ray Foundation, although it feels more like forever and not very long at all. After a whirlwind of emotions and desperation I believe with ease I can finally say that I'm getting into the Groove of things. I of course know that this was not my works alone but the works of the Lord and the prayers of others I surely felt. The warm messages from my friends and family back at home has truly been a gift. A special thanks to Jen Meynardie and my YoungLife Family for their constant genuine support and words of comfort from the truth.

This morning, I feel less anxious, more confident but more anxious to see what the Lord has in store and confident in his doings. We had a lovely conversation last night that put me right to sleep comfortably for the first time. I'm adjusting and finding my place here :) This morning I woke up to meditate on the word, I read about the parable of the Sower over a cup of herbal tea, Norah Jones and some indian incense burning in the background. I found myself resonating with the Thorns in our soil. Thorns are anything that distract us from God; the worries of this world. Surely I knew that I did not want to trap myself amongst these thorns and knew who I needed to surrender my fears, worries, emotions and struggles to :) The spark has been lighten...

Lately I have been feeling ill or as I say "just under the weather". My body is trying to adjust and all these things are normal but it has drained a lot of my energy and between that and the humidity and busy schedules, my days are long and exhausting. At the foundation they purify the water themselves using chemicals like much of the rest of the country does. My body was not fond of this and I found myself lagged and sick for a few days. I'm now buying all my water outside of the compound in Jugs and keeping it in my room. Already I feel so much better! My allergies are acting up and my skin irritations are coming back from the weather but this too is normal and thankfully can be worked through. Yesterday we took the children to the aquarium and they had a blast. I had a little boy who refused to walk and demanded to be carried the whole time. Every time I tried to put him down he would cry after about a minute. Once I picked him back up he was just so comforted to be back in my arms. On the bus ride back home he quietly fell back asleep on my lap. These children come from the slums and some never receive much attention so I believe that they try to soak up every pound of love they receive. We went to the ocean and gazed over the big sea. This brought a certain peace over my heart. Then I realized that I was reminded of San Diego by the smell and sounds of the ocean and stumbled on a homesick moment where I missed San Diego and all the beautiful people in it. I then realized that instead of being sad I felt grateful to live in such a beautiful place. I will never have a moment where I take my country for granted again! We bought the children popsicles and it melted all over their faces and clothes. It was a disaster! But a lovely one to say the least! We got back and were exhausted, ate lunch then I headed off to my Thai Lesson. In the evening a lovely volunteer named Dan read me a beautiful poem. He is a lovely, whimsical, older man with a spark in his eye and I'm very fond of him. He read me this...

It doesn't take much
to hold the tiny weight
of a song sparrow,
any little twig will do,
or a sturdy weed in a field.

Why do I think my fledgling ideas
have to wait for a thick branch
or a secure landing place
before I set them down?

The wisp of a fleeting dream
can rest for a while
on a small extension in my soul.

If I never let these dreams land,
they will not gain strength
for the long flight into fullness.

All it takes is a little twig
to rest a great dream on.

This poem resonated with my heart in a delightful way and I too hope it resonates with yours ;) He then handed me the book of poems that reflected nature and my heart and said "Read and Purr". So I read and I purred. All these things are lovely little gifts.

I was telling this story to my boyfriend, Mike about a precious moment I had with one of the Children and he said, write that down so I did and I'm now going to tell you about this simple little moment of beauty. Last Saturday, we were at the Children's Village playing with the children. They usually run around and play and beat each other up. You learn not to exuberate all your effort into trying to stop all these little tangents kids go on and the fights they have. Kids will be kids. One girl was dragging another little girl on the ground and she started crying. Excuse me, she whaled!!!! That was a moment I knew I needed to intervene so I quietly walked over to her, picked her up off the cement and held her over my shoulder rocking her back and fourth quietly singing to her. She cried and cried uncontrollably, collecting her breath like children do and I just continued to patiently sway her back and fourth in my arms just loving her. Shortly this girls heart began to patter slower and her breaths became longer and arms grasped me closer and she just melted and embraced. Her tears were gone and it was just her and I. Just her and I. She then fell asleep in my arms. I think we both communicated a lot to each other at that moment about how much she was loved. The most beautiful part at that moment was that this love was not coming from me. It was Christ's Love and it compelled both of us. I will always remember that little moment of Truth.

I stay very busy around here. Every Morning I either go visit one of the elders in the elderly home Mr. Lee or Auntie. We usually take Mr. Lee out for a stroll around the compound to the fish pond or store or to see the children. He loves Coke and we buy him one everyday! He looks forward to this and kicks his legs! My Lee can't say much but he is an alert fellow with a lot of Life! Auntie is about 91, she is blind and can only hear out of one ear. We sit with her, hold her hand so that she knows you are with her and lean over her and scream into one ear! Literally! She is a character! She Loves company and asks every question in the book to you! How many brothers and sisters do you have? What are they doing? Do you have a boyfriend? What does he do? Where are your parents from? Do you like Spicy Food? Sometimes, she takes some patience but she is surely a delight. If I'm not with one of the elders I usually teach in the mornings. That is always fun! I then head over to play with the children along with a few other volunteers; Rachel (Whales), Mandeep (London), Qiong (China) and a few others and we stay with the children till Lunch. We play with them then feed them then bath them which is always an adventure, dress all of them then pat them to sleep! Yes, All of them! You sit there between two children and pat them consistently until they fall asleep. Then you move over to the next child and try to get them to fall asleep. This always takes a lot of patience and time but it surely is a beautiful moment everyday. In the afternoons we do different things; Children's Drop in Center, Children's Village, etc.

All in all I'm having a wonderful time, the volunteers here are lovely and everyday I feel differently than the day before. I fall often but this is all part of the journey. When my heart starts to ache, I'm reminded everyday of his Love.